


Ho'ike a Maka

by mohinikapuahi



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst and Humor, Episode: s02e16 I Helu Pu, F/M, M/M, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-14
Updated: 2012-04-17
Packaged: 2017-11-01 22:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/361972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mohinikapuahi/pseuds/mohinikapuahi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate thought to the end of 2.16 I Helu Pu.  What if there had been no case and the team had stayed at the function?  What if Lori had decided to take matters into her own hands.  What if Steve and Danny were clueless?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Steve leaned casually against the wall, his ankles crossed, his shoulder the only point of contact with the wall, his arms folded across his chest as he watched the room’s occupants. He hated these monkey suit, suck up-to-the-constituent dinners that the Governor made them attend. He scanned the crowded dance floor, picking out his team members easily. 

Lori danced with Max on the distant edge. Her eyes lifted to scan for him over Max’s shoulder often. Too often, he had decided, making a mental note to take an even closer look at her motives when he got a chance. Jenna’s betrayal, though understandable still cut a deep swathe through his already significant trust issues. That wouldn’t happen again. She might be feigning her crush on him to get closer-he didn’t think she was that smart, but it was possible.

Shaking his head to clear the thoughts, his eyes drifted to Kono, held in a far closer than just-friends-and-workmates hold, and being spun around the floor by Charlie Fong, both of them laughing and talking as if they were the only ones in the world. It took him a little longer to spot Chin--he and Malia were tucked into a shadowed corner of the dance floor, wrapped in an intimate embrace, heads bowed together, hands entwined and caught between their chests. If that was what love looked like it was the most beautiful thing in the world to Steve’s eyes. 

And then there was Danny. Short, aggressive, opinionated Danny. His eyes flickered back to Danny over and over. Danny, who held his smart, beautiful, adoring girlfriend in his arms and was smiling like a man in love. The same girlfriend that Steve himself had pushed him towards.

“Team all present and accounted for, Commander?” Cath’s voice preceded the champagne flute that she waved in front of him.

“They’re all adults, Cath.” Steve sighed, taking the glass from her hand and draining half of it in one gulp, preparing for the continuation of an argument that had become familiar.

“And can take care of themselves.” Cath nodded sagely.

Steve tore his gaze from the dance floor to look into his date’s eyes, his own eyes narrowed. “Who said they couldn’t?”

“Settle down big boy, no one said anything, but the way you’re standing sentinel over them and assessing the exits kind of implies that you need to protect them.”

Steve shrugged. “We watch each other’s backs.” 

“I know that, and I know you’ve had some hard times together. I get it. I’ve seen how well it works for you. All of you. But when is it time for you to stand down and get some of that?” She nodded her head towards the dance floor.

Steve’s eyes immediately drifted back to Danny, a hand clenching around his heart as he watched his callused fingers brush a lock of hair from Gabby’s face. He turned his attention back to Cath.

“I don’t dance,” he answered abruptly.

“Oh My God.” Cath grinned. “Could you be any more emotionally stunted?”

his eyes narrowed. “What does that mean, Cath?” 

“It means you need to think about things.” She leaned up to brush a thread off of the shoulder of his tuxedo. “Really think about what you want, because I don’t think it’s me.”

“You’re here aren’t you?” Steve frowned.

“Yes. That I am, Commander.” She smiled. “But you and I both know exactly who you want and are too…” she paused searching for the right word, “reticent to go after it.”

Steve turned his attention back to the dance floor. “You’re out of line, Cath.” 

“No I’m not, you’re just afraid to believe the truth.”

“I know the truth, Lieutenant. What I want has no part in it.”

“You can be such a hard-headed ass at times.” Catherine grabbed the empty glass out of his hand and walked briskly away. To the unpracticed eye she was off in search of a refill, but Steve, as he watched could see the stiff angry tilt of her head, sighing to himself as he turned his attention back to the dance floor once more, anticipating a night spent alone. 

Scanning the couples still swaying gently on the floor, he found himself a team member down. Checking them off on his mental map of where they had been at his last sweep, he desperately tried to tamp down the unreasonable fear at the loss. His rapid visual search of the dance floor was halted at the sound of a voice behind him.

“Really Steve?” Lori spoke quietly, huskier than at work.

“What?” he asked absently, his eyes tracking Danny on the dance floor.

“I’ve practically thrown myself at you for months, and you can’t even do me the courtesy of looking at me?” She stepped around him to stand in front of him.

“No, it’s not….wait, you what?” Steve murmured trying to keep up, making a mental note to stay away from champagne in future if two flutes could make him this confused.

“You are unbelievable, you know that?” She said loudly, throwing her arms up in consternation.

“What the hell have I done to you?” Steve frowned, his eyes flickering between Lori’s tantrum and the dance floor.

“Nothing. That’s the whole point.” She grimaced, moving to block his view.

“What?” His eyes narrowed as he turned his attention to her, trying to avoid the sight of Danny surreptitiously moving Gabby closer to the edge of the dance floor, frowning as he watched them out of the corner of his eye.

“It means, Commander,” she prodded him with a sharp finger, “I may as well have been wearing a neon ‘Fuck Me’ sign for you, but you never even noticed.” She turned and paced a few steps away before turning on him again. “Jesus, Steve, what is wrong with you that you don’t want ‘this’” she gestured at her own body, “but you’re more than happy to make moon eyes at that…” she waved her arm towards the dance floor and Danny.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Steve scrubbed his hand over his face.

Lori put her hands on her hips. “You really have no idea do you?” she asked in amazement.

“You’re out of line, Weston.” Cath’s stern voice sounded from behind Lori, in front of a growing interested audience.

“And you?" Lori pounced on her. "You’re happy with your own particular arrangement, or are you as clueless as he is?”

“I think you need to take your sign and go,” Cath said, not taking her eyes off of Steve,her expression shifting from annoyance to concern.

Lori looked between Catherine and Steve before sighing and turning to leave. “Fine, You’re all welcome to whatever the hell it is you have going on here. You’ll have my resignation in the morning.”

They watched her leave, heels tapping a staccato beat as she crossed the room.

“What was that about?” Danny asked as he approached, his gaze flitting between Lori’s retreating back and Steve’s bewildered face.

Cath sighed loudly, smiling widely as she watched Steve shrug his shoulders at Danny, “Can we have a minute, Danny?” she asked quickly.

“Sure.” Danny looked at Steve once more before turning and leading Gabby towards the refreshment table.

Catherine waited until they were out of earshot, before she spoke again. “She was right you know.”

“Right?” Steve frowned, his gaze lingering on Danny and Gabby.

“For God’s sake, you were in Naval Intelligence, you are apparently a good cop. You can’t be this stupid.”

Steve shook his head and glared at Catherine. “I’m not stupid.” 

“Could have fooled me, Sailor.”

“I knew she had a thing for me.” Steve admitted.

“And?” Catherine prodded, “Does this whole conversation have to be like pulling teeth?”

“And it wasn’t reciprocated so I didn’t acknowledge it.” Steve shrugged. “Besides I have you.”

Catherine stepped closer and pressed a hand against his chest, rubbing gently. “Honey, even I know that I’m second choice.” 

“Not when we’re together.” Steve lifted a hand to brush the soft white skin of her shoulder. “Not really.”

“Well since blondie has opened this can of worms, it’s time for you to put your big boy panties on and fix this thing that you’ve got going on. I’m tired of playing second fiddle to Detective Williams.” Cath leaned up to press a soft kiss to his cheek softening her words. “You’ll both feel better when you stop letting it fester like this.”

“He’s got Gabby.” Steve said, giving up all pretense at protest..

“And who pushed him there?” Cath shook him gently. “I swear you are the worst man of all men at this. You make cow eyes at him, he makes puppy eyes at you, you flirt uncontrollably. Go and fix this. Do it tonight, if only to put the rest of us out of our misery.”

“You’re wrong. He’s happy.” Steve responded, finally looking down at Cath.

“Let me put it this way: You tell him tonight, or I will.”


	2. Chapter 2

Steve sat on his sofa, tie hanging loosely around his neck, shirt unbuttoned, a Longboard between his fingers as he stared vacantly at the blank TV screen. His tux jacket was folded neatly across the back of the recliner, his dress shoes lined up carefully beside it. He’d dropped his phone on the coffee table before he sat on the sofa and was pointedly ignoring it as it vibrated its way to the edge. 

He couldn’t lie, he wasn’t as obtuse as Cath had painted him. He'd known that Lori had been throwing herself at him, but he’d thought if he ignored it maybe she’d catch a clue and go away. Seeing her with Max had made him think she had. Cath was right about Danny too, but even in his own head Steve hadn’t wanted to delve too deeply. It was enough for him to know that every single inappropriate thought was locked up in the same compartment with things he did in combat and didn’t want to think about.

The sharp rap of knuckles on the half open door startled him enough for him to reflexively reach for the gun that wasn’t at his hip.

“Steve?” Danny’s voice immediately followed the knock. “You in there, babe?”

For a full thirty seconds Steve contemplated not opening his mouth, but he thought better of it quickly. “In here,” he called.

“What have I told you?” Danny pushed the door open further. “It’s called security my friend. If you don’t close it, it’s not secure.” Danny let his eyes adjust to the dimly lit room and scanned until he found his partner. “What are you doing sitting in the dark?”

“Thinking,” Steve answered, hoping that the direct approach would forestall any argument. Danny walked across the room to flick the light switch on, then turned back to Steve. Rocking back on his heels, Danny pushed his hands into his pockets, watching his partner.

“What do you want, Danny?” Steve bit out, Danny’s intense gaze making him nervous and pissy.

“Why didn’t you answer the phone?” Danny asked patiently.

Steve shrugged. “Didn’t hear it ringing.” 

“That is fucking crap, Steven. I know that you have watched it dance its little vibratory dance across the table right there in front of you.” Danny inclined his head towards the phone that sat right at the edge of the table.

“Alright then, Detective,” Steve snarled without looking up, “I knew it was you.”

Danny’s mouth twisted into a wry grin. “So you don’t want to talk to me.” 

“No I don’t so don’t let the door hit you too hard on the ass on the way out.” Steve growled.

“That’s interesting, Steven.” Danny spoke calmly. “Catherine wanted to talk to me.”

Steve’s eyes flew to Danny’s face, desperately trying to read what he knew, what Catherine had told him.

“Anything to say, McGarrett?” Danny asked, a smile curving his lips.

“Just spit it out, Danny.” Steve forced himself to be calm, even though his heart was beating a frantic tattoo against his rib cage and his mouth had gone drier than a desert. 

“She told me to find you.” Danny shrugged as he pushed the phone aside and sat on the coffee table in front of Steve. “I went to her to find you. I figured you’d be making with some Barry White action, but she said you left her at the lobby. I know that’s not like you, or any other normal red blooded man. Now what gives? Why was she muttering about big boy panties and what did I miss with Weston?”

“She quit.” Steve stated shortly, as he shoved his beer into Danny’s hand and pushed himself to his feet to pace the room.

“The fuck?” Danny exclaimed. “Please explain?”

“Danny, I really don’t want to do this now.” Steve ran his fingers through his hair roughly.

“Too bad, babe. Something is going on here that Cath thinks you need to get off your chest.”

“Cath talks too much.”

“More than you, sure, however, not nearly enough, so spill tough guy. Why did Weston quit?”

Steve sighed. “It seems she has feelings for me, and finds it impossible to work for me now.” 

“You’re kidding me, right?” Danny laughed as he rose and put the beer on the table behind him. “How did you not know that?”

“I knew it alright?” Steve blew out a frustrated sigh. “I just didn’t want to deal with it. I’ve….we’ve all had enough shit going on. I didn’t need that, too.”

“Then that's not what is bothering you.” Danny stood directly in front of him and looked up into his face. “What else?”

Steve sighed “What do you mean what else? Isn’t that enough?”He closed his eyes so he wasn’t forced to look into the blue of Danny’s.

“Maybe for a normal, everyday run of the mill person, but not you, you’re SuperSEAL. So what gives?”

“Danny, I swear to God if you don’t leave it alone I will hit you,” Steve growled, stepping away from Danny and moving across the room.

“Do you have a thing for Gabby?” Danny asked.

“What?” Steve blurted out in confusion, shaking his head. “What? No. Why would you even think that?”

“Because you didn’t think I’d see aneurysm face every time you saw me dancing with her?” Danny explained. “I’ve seen that face on a daily basis, I know what that face means, so I know a little of what I speak.”  
Steve took a deep breath and straightened. He couldn’t see anyway of digging himself out of the hole he’d found himself in. In fact, every minute it seemed to be getting deeper.

“It’s not Gabby I have a thing for, D.” He spoke softly, reluctant to turn around and see the realization and rejection on Danny’s face. “It was all I could do not to snarl at her. I wanted to make her go away. For Fuck’s Sake, D, I was jealous of her dancing with you. I wanted to dance with you.” He drew a deep shuddering breath. “And that is fucking ridiculous because I. Don’t. Dance.” 

His shoulders slumped as he heard Danny’s footsteps moving across the room, and the soft snick of the door closing. He let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and refused to let regret crush him. 

“Steven?” Danny’s voice broke into his self-recriminations.

Steve turned slowly to see Danny loosening his tie and shrugging his suit jacket off, a wide grin plastered across his face.

“Come here.” He opened his arms.

“I don’t dance, D.” Steve responded softly, his hope flickering back to life.

“Do you hear any music? No music, no dancing." Danny smiled at him. "We’ll just stand here and participate in some manly hugging. Maybe a little swaying.” 

Steve walked towards Danny, pausing a step in front of him, reaching out to trail his fingers down the length of Danny’s tie before he stepped into his arms. “I think I can do that.”


	3. Chapter 3

Two weeks. Two very long weeks. Steve sat at his desk and surreptitiously watched Danny through the clear glass of the office windows. Ever since the night of the charity function things had been odd between them. Not Danny--he was his normal verbose, ranting self. But Steve was different. He couldn’t help it. He’d held heaven and had let it go.

Ever since that night he had been pushing Danny out of his after-hours life. Shrugging out of casual, yet meaningful, touches, avoiding the subtle line of questioning when Danny tried to address what had become the big cammo elephant between them, and--most unforgivably--tacitly withdrawing, Danny’s invitation to his house. Every evening had become a morose round of swimming until exhaustion burned through his trembling muscles necessitating his return to dry land, followed by self-absorbed sulking while burrowing into Danny’s lingering scent on his sofa and drinking himself into enough of a stupor to sleep without dreaming.

He wouldn’t let Danny sacrifice himself. He’d seen it time and time again, Danny letting himself be hurt as he fixed the ones he loved. Grace, Rachel, Matthew--Steve had watched Danny pin his heart on his sleeve and bear the brunt of whatever emotional shit storm it landed him in. He was like an eager puppy who kept giving and giving and giving, even when there was nothing left to give. 

Steve had been there in the rare times when Danny let himself show how desperately he needed someone to give to him. Steve was the one that put Danny back together. If he was the one breaking him, how could he fix him?. He wasn’t going to do that to Danny. Danny had a life, a normal life--or as normal as the life of an elite cop could be. Steve wasn’t going to jeopardize that for anyone, not even himself. Besides, he knew that Danny didn’t feel the same way he did. Danny was doing what he always did, giving what was needed of him.

So deep in his thoughts was Steve that the phone startled him, and the pencil he'd been holding snapped in two between his fingers.

“McGarrett,” he snapped, answering without even looking at the phone.

“Well, hello to you too, Commander.” Cath’s voice held an edge of amusement.

“What do you want, Catherine?” Steve barked into the phone, not in the mood for idle discussions with the woman who had started this whole catastrophic rollercoaster.

“Just wanting to know how things are going?” she asked. “Can’t I check in with a friend?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Where are you?” he asked churlishly.

“On the Enterprise. Why?” 

“Because you only call to ‘check in’ when you’re in town. So,” he paused, leaning back in his chair and closing his eyes wearily, “it can’t be for a favor, because I’m the favor-asker, and you’re too far away for a booty call. So what gives?”

“Would it be too much to ask you to pull your head out of your ass?” she asked with a smile in her tone.

Steve sighed, all his pissy anger leaving him in a rush. “I guess I deserved that.”

“Kono called.”  
“For Fucks sake, now I have two of you pulling my strings?”

“She’s worried about you, Steve, they all are.” Cath’s tone turned softer. “What’s up, Sailor?”

Steve drew a deep shuddering breath, hesitating for long seconds before he realized that he had to talk to someone.

“It’s Danny,” he breathed not sure how to go any further.

“You’re going to have to do better than that. It was Danny when I left, now it has to be more than that.” There was a slight pause. “I never said anything to him, Steve, I wouldn’t do that to you. No matter how nuts you make me.”

“I know,” Steve whispered. “But he’s making me nuts.”

Steve looked up, his eyes meeting Danny’s all the way from his office Danny looked away quickly. Dismayed, Steve couldn’t help himself, turning his chair to face the wall as the whole miserable story of his last two weeks tumbled out. 

As his words ran out, he leaned back in his chair, exhausted, but somehow cleansed by talking about it. Suddenly everything seemed so much brighter than it had an hour ago.

“Steve, honey, you have to talk to him. I can’t understand how you can fling yourself into harm’s way without a moment’s hesitation, but you can’t talk to the man you want to spend your life with.”

Steve nodded as if she could see him. “I know, it’s stupid. I should just do this and get it over with.”

“You’re only seeing it from your side. You’re probably making him just as miserable. Promise me you’ll talk to him.”

“I’ll talk to him. I Promise.” He paused. “Thank you, Cath.”

“My pleasure, Commander.” He heard a kissing noise on the other end of the line that made him smile. “You should do it soon, Steve, tonight. The longer you leave it the harder it is going to be.”

Steve suffered silently through the remainder of the day. His eyes tracked Danny’s every movement until Steve could stand it no longer. Pushing his chair back so hard and so fast it hit the wall, he stalked out of his office and across the space to Danny's and shoved Danny’s door open.

“You and I have to talk,” Steve said, his eyes on a frame on Danny's desk. “I’m going home now. If you want to fix this I’ll be there all night.” Before Danny could react or respond, Steve turned on his heel and all but ran out to his truck.

~*~*~*~

Steve drove home and ran up the stairs to his bedroom, stripping off his clothes on the way. He pulled on his board shorts before hurrying back downstairs and out back to swim, clear his head, and formulate a plan.

His decision to finally sort this out, for good or for bad, had brought him a kind of peace, and he swam for miles as he tried to decide how to approach the conversation. He was no closer to an answer when he approached the shore once more.

As he stood to walk out of the water, his legs bearing a closer resemblance to jelly than the powerful muscles he knew them to be, he nearly fell as he realized Danny was standing just at the edge of the lapping water,hands jammed in his pockets, squinting into the fading sunset, watching Steve struggle to stand.

“Danny?” 

“What you didn’t expect me to come? What the fuck was that about? You couldn’t do things sensibly like a normal person. No wait let me answer that. You. Are. Not. A. Normal. Person.” Danny paced back and forth, his arms flailing like a windmill as he ranted his way through his thoughts. “Jeez McGarrett. Can’t we just do something normal like normal people for a fucking change?”

Steve stepped out of the water and onto the sand. “No. We can’t, Danny.” Steve took a deep breath, scrubbing a shaking hand through his wet hair. “I don’t know how to fix this, D,” Steve murmured. “I know what I want, but I can’t trust your instincts not to hurt us both not when it’s this important.”

He realized he’d said the wrong thing the moment the words left his lips. “Wait.” Danny’s voice was quiet as he stepped closer to Steve, “You don’t trust me?”

“That’s not what I said, D.” Steve reached out to touch Danny’s bicep reassuringly, wincing when Danny shrugged away. 

“I’m pretty sure that you just said you couldn’t trust me,” Danny growled. “You had better explain what you 'meant' right now, or I’m not going to be responsible for my actions.” 

“I watch you, all the time. You put yourself on the line for the people you love, you give everything you have to give and you let them break you. I can’t do that to you. I won’t let you do that for me.” Without another glance at Danny, Steve walked across the grass and into the house.

~*~*~*~

Unable to bear the thought of what Danny’s response might be, Steve headed straight into the shower, dropping his shorts on the bathroom floor and stepping under the spray as soon as he turned the spigot. Folding his arms against the slippery tiles, he rested his head against his forearms and let the needlelike spray pound against his scalp. If his face was wet from more than just the shower, no one would ever be the wiser.

Navy showers be damned, Steve stood under the spray until it ran cold. Turning the water off with one hand and scrubbing the other across his face, Steve pulled back the shower curtain and stepped onto the bathmat. He reached for the towel hanging from the rail, only to find himself face to face with Danny. 

“Don’t you ever fucking knock?” Steve snarled as he flailed for the towel with one hand and the shower curtain with the other, desperately trying to cover himself.

“I was talking to you for close on ten minutes, Army boy,” Danny answered, leaning back against the cistern and crossing his ankles in front of him.

“Navy. It’s the fucking Navy,” Steve growled as he wrapped the towel around his hips. “Now get out.”

“No can do, buddy,” Danny responded. “Not until we’ve sorted this out.”

“Can I at least get dressed?”  
There was a hint of a grin that Steve wanted to wipe off Danny's face. “No. Not giving you time to think about contingency plans.” 

“This is not funny, D.” 

“Would it be better if I took my clothes off?” 

“NO!” Steve barked as Danny’s fingers lifted to unbutton his shirt.

“Babe, chill out.” Danny stood slowly and moved to stand just in front of Steve, lifting one hand to trail his fingers along the path of a droplet of water as it trickled down Steve’s chest, his eyes turning up to look into Steve’s face when his body trembled. “I’m going to go into the bedroom, but I’m not going any further. Dry off. Get dressed and I’ll be waiting.”

Steve blinked at him. “Waiting?” he asked dazedly. “Waiting for what?” 

“For you to have your wicked way with me, Steven.” Danny’s voice drifted over his shoulder as he turned on his heel and walked out, closing the door behind him.

Steve’s knees almost buckled as the ramifications of Danny’s comment hit him, he sank down onto the side of the bathtub and ran his fingers through his wet hair. Sitting there for a couple of minutes, he considered the myriad ways this evening could end as he pulled a second towel off the rack and dried off. The wet trunks were the only clothing he had in the bathroom, so he wrapped his towel tightly around his hips and opened the door.

He squashed the urge to run back into the bathroom and barricade himself in as he sawDanny reclining on the bed. The light from the bedside table reflected the golden highlights in the whorls of chest hair, throwing shadows on his skin from his arms crossed behind his head to his bare feet crossed at the ankles. Steve sighed at the sight.

“If you go back in there I’m just going to follow you,” Danny murmured not even opening his eyes.

“This isn’t a good idea, D,” Steve said softly.

“Maybe not, but it’s the best thing for us.” Danny shifted higher on the bed, opening his eyes. “Now get your ass over here, because we’re going to talk for a while, and then we're going to make out like teenagers." He raised his eyebrows. "We may even fuck like bunnies.”

“Jesus, Danny, you kiss your daughter with that mouth?” Steve smiled, Danny’s words lifting some of the tension that had almost paralyzed him.

“Quit evading.” Danny said, a hint of a smirk on his lips. 

Steve walked to the opposite side of the bed and sat down. “You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” 

Danny shuffled over enough that he could stroke the smooth tanned skin of Steve’s back.“Maybe just a little bit.” Danny leaned in to press an open mouthed kiss to Steve’s back. “But we can’t keep going on like this babe. Talk to me, that’s all we have to do is talk. Let me help you, let me help us.”

“That’s just it, D.” Steve sighed, turning to gently cup Danny’s face. “We can't just talk. And once we do this, ‘I can’t go back. I’m all in for life, D.”

“Who said there was anything wrong with that?” Danny murmured softly, trembling slightly as Steve’s thumb traced his bottom lip.

“Me. I watch you sacrifice yourself all the time. Ignoring your own needs to heal the ones you love until you’re practically broken. How can I help you if I’m the one that’s breaking you? I can’t, no, I won’t do that to you.”

“So you won’t let me decide for myself? You’re just going to ignore what I want just so I don’t get hurt?”

Steve sighed “What’s wrong with that? . I’m a bad bet, Danny.”

“Good thing I’m not betting on you.” Danny let his hand slide up to grip Steve’s shoulder before he went back to rubbing the soothing circles again. 

“It doesn’t pay to love me, D.” Steve framed Danny’s face with his hands as Danny would have interrupted. “Don’t even try to deny it, I can see it in every single look. People who love me die, Danny.”

“Are you listening to yourself, Steven?” Danny tried to pull out of Steve’s grip, even as Steve leaned forward to brush his lips against Danny’s forehead.

Steve shrugged “I’m just telling you how it is. I couldn’t take losing you like that. It would tear my heart out. Maybe I’m being selfish, but I can’t do that to us. And if it takes not having you at all to keep us both safe, then that’s how it needs to be.”

“At the risk of redundancy, you big lummox, have you noticed our profession? I don’t need loving you to have a big flashing target painted on my back that comes with the job. And courtesy of that same job, I’m equipped to deal with any psycho who wants to come knocking because I can’t bear to live without you.”

“What about Grace?” Steve asked, his eyes fixed on Danny’s.

“Grace knows about our jobs, sometimes I think she knows better than us, but this?” Danny waved a hand between them, “Will probably have her squealing so loudly only dogs can hear her.” Danny leaned forward, pressing his forehead against Steve’s for a brief moment before he sat back. “What else?”

Steve groaned, taking in his half-naked partner, all his reasons for denying them both slipping out of his head as Danny's reminder of how their jobs could tear them apart so much faster than this ever would. And he'd never know what it was to have this if that happened. “Danny...fuck. This is a monumentally bad idea, but God help me, I can’t keep saying no to you. I’m miserable pushing you away.”

Danny laid back against the pillows, opening his arms to his partner. “So stop wasting time and get down here.”

Releasing the last of his misgivings with a deep breath, Steve turned and lay his head on the same pillow as Danny. He turned his head and smiled almost shyly, before turning onto his side and letting his fingers brush across Danny’s furry chest. He’d done this enough to know his way around both men and women, but he was still as nervous as the proverbial virgin on prom night.

“Hey,” he murmured, looking into Danny’s blue eyes.

“Hey yourself.” Danny said softly, clearly ready to follow Steve’s lead, his body turning towards Steve’s as he spoke. “You okay with this? We don’t have to do anything. I know I’m pushy, but when it comes to you, if I wasn't, we’d get nowhere.”

“Danny?” Steve spoke softly, nuzzling his nose with Danny’s.

“Yeah?” Danny let his hands sweep across Steve’s chest.

“You talk too much.” Steve tilted his chin just high enough that his lips met Danny’s. As first kisses went, there had probably been better, but not for him. The soft rasp of Danny’s stubble against his lips made Steve’s lips twitch into a gentle smile, his tongue slipping forward to lick against the seam of Danny’s lips.

Danny pulled back enough to look into Steve’s face, his thumb brushing across his cheekbone as he pulled Steve back to him for another long wet kiss. Steve’s hand slid down Danny’s side, fingertips tracing the muscles rippling under his taut pale skin, until he reached the waistband of Danny’s trousers. Wrapping his arm around Danny’s waist, Steve pulled him closer until their chests were touching. Steve let his head drop forward until his forehead rested against Danny’s, sharing the same heated breath, rolling into the embrace as Danny wrapped one muscled leg over Steve’s hip.

“You’re not freaking out on me are you?” Danny asked, his words warm against Steve’s lips.

“Nope.” Steve answered his cheeks pinking slightly, “not going to happen.” 

“I don’t believe it.” Danny pulled back and grinned. “Bad ass super seal is shy?”

Steve rolled onto his back, flinging one arm across his face. “No fucking way.” 

“Then what’s this.” Danny’s thumb rubbed slowly across the color high on Steve’s cheekbones.

“Fine." Steve peeked out from under his arm. "I’m nervous, okay? Are you happy now?” 

“Not now that you’re pissed at me.”

Steve sighed. “I’m not pissed. I’ve just never done this before I don’t want to fuck it up.” 

“Wait? Never? I thought….”

“Settle down, you’re not that special. I’ve been fucked by guys before.” Steve turned his head to look at Danny. “This will be the first time it’s meant anything more than just getting my rocks off with a like-minded person.” He paused and reached out to stroke Danny’s untidy hair back into place. “It will be the first time it’s THIS important, so excuse me if that’s freaking me the fuck out.”

“You’re such a goof.” Danny shook his head, leaning over to press a kiss to Steve’s lips. “But you’re my goof.”

“Damn straight.” Steve whimpered as Danny teased his bottom lip with his teeth.

“Trust me?” Danny whispered pressing kisses across Steve’s stubbled jaw.

Steve turned his head to give Danny better access to his bare neck. “What sort of question is that?” 

“Answer the question Steven.” Danny licked a long wet stripe from the base of Steve’s neck to his chin, chuckling at the shiver that ran through Steve.

“God, yes.” Steve moaned, his body relaxing against the bed.

“Then. Let. Me. Do. This.” Danny punctuated each word with a sucking kiss, trailing across Steve’s chest. In one fluid movement, Danny straddled Steve’s hips, the position pressing them together and dragging a moan from each of them.

Danny leaned forward and caught a nipple in his teeth, licking and releasing it as Steve arched up into Danny, his hands reaching for Danny’s hips and pulling him down tighter against Steve's hard cock.

Grabbing Steve’s hands from his hips, Danny laced his own fingers through Steve’s. Pulling their hands to his mouth, he kissed Steve’s knuckles as his hips rocked against Steve’s.

“You’re overdressed,” Steve whispered, his hips arching up, the friction of his towel and the pressure of Danny rubbing against his sensitive flesh almost too much for him to bear.

Danny pulled Steve’s arms up over his head, fingers still laced, until he was stretched out along Steve’s body, kissing him wetly, hips rutting against Steve’s slowly.

“Would you believe…” he said, words trailing off as he nipped at Steve’s chin, “I don’t want to rush you?”

“It’s been two years, D.” Steve turned his head enough that his words were spoken into Danny’s mouth before he kissed him sloppily. “Fuck me already.” 

Pulling his hand from Danny’s, Steve reached across the bed enough to tug a drawer in the bedside table open, groping in it blindly until he found what he wanted. He dropped a bottle of slick and a strip of condoms onto the covers beside them. “C’mon Danny.”

“Ambitious much?” Danny grinned, plucking the condoms off the quilt and holding them up with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“Get naked, D.” Steve growled, rolling them over until he lay over Danny like a living breathing blanket, his lips travelling across Danny’s neck, pausing to nip at the curve where his neck met his shoulder.

Danny pushed Steve off of him, sliding off the edge of the bed. Danny opened his pants and slid both and his boxer shorts down his legs, his eyes never leaving Steve’s face as he stepped out of them. Resting one hand on the bed he leaned down to press his lips to Steve’s, the fingers of his other hand fumbling with the loosened towel at Steve’s hip.

Impatient, Steve lifted his hips off the bed, allowing Danny to drag the towel off the bed as he crawled back onto it. Any words Steve might have formed were strangled in his throat as Danny’s hand trailed along the length of his hard cock. His fingertips dancing feather light along Steve's length, until they stopped to slide across his already slick tip, before withdrawing his touch and looking into Steve’s face.

“Did you just whimper?” he asked a smirk on his lips.

“Fuck you. Touch me!” Steve grated out, his hips thrusting into the empty, unsatisfying air.

“I’d much rather fuck you.” Danny said as he crawled between Steve’s legs.

“Then do it already and stop fucking talking about it.” Steve moaned as Danny’s lips touched the head of his cock and all coherent thought left Steve's brain.

His hands clenched tight fistfuls of the sheet, his feet braced on the bed, knees flexed and legs wide open as Danny’s tongue trailed a spit-slick path from the tip to the base of his cock. 

In his entire life, sex had never been this intense, this brain-melting. He’d always been in control, able to think but this, this was different. This was Danny. The sensations were overwhelming him, as Danny opened his lips and mouthed Steve's balls, making his back arch, his head fall back, as helpless whimpering cries spilled from his lips. None of which prepared him for the slick wet press of Danny’s tongue against his hole, or the sweeping broad brushing licks across it as Danny’s hand pushed his cheeks apart and nuzzled between them.

And then the touch was gone. Sinking into the bed, Steve drew in a deep shuddering breath and opened his eyes searching for Danny.

“You alright Babe?” Danny’s eyes were almost black with passion, but filled with concern as his thumb brushed against Steve’s cheek, coming away wet. “Was I hurting you?” he asked, frowning.

“Please, D.” Steve didn't care that he was begging, his breath ragged, his voice rasping. “Don’t stop.”

“Not stopping. Just letting you catch your breath.” Danny smiled as he flipped the top of the Slick bottle open. Coating his fingers liberally with the slippery liquid, Danny let his hand trail back to Steve’s opening, watching every muscle twitch as he touched Steve. Slowly, he pushed his finger inside of Steve, past that first ring of muscle. Steve’s body tensed, but as he relaxed, his legs fell even further open and Danny pushed a second finger into him, scissoring them slowly as Steve’s body took them deeper. Steve reached up and wrapped a hand around the back of Danny’s neck to pull him in for a wet sloppy kiss, their tongues mirroring the actions of Danny’s fingers.

“Steve, babe?” Danny moaned, pulling just far enough away to speak, his lips brushing against Steve’s lips as he spoke. “I can’t.”

“What?” Steve couldn’t understand what Danny was saying.

“I’m saying,” Danny sighed, then they both moaned as his pulled his fingers out of Steve’s body, and flopped back onto the bed beside Steve. “I can’t wait babe. We need to finish this, so next time I can do it properly, give you what you need, what we both need.” He turned his head to look into Steve’s face, “Look at you, you’re so fucking beautiful.” One hand reached across to brush across Steve’s temple. “I’m sorry I’ve spoiled our first time.”

Steve closed his eyes for a brief second, before opening them with a smile.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about, Williams.” Steve reached out and closed his hand around Danny’s cock, sliding his fingers along the length slowly. He rolled closer to whisper in Danny’s ear, “Still want to fuck me?”, then grinned as Danny’s cock twitched in his hand.

“What do you think?” Danny said in a strangled voice.

“Now it’s my turn.” 

Reaching for a condom, Steve ripped the packet open with trembling fingers and rolled the condom onto Danny’s cock. Steve shuffled closer on his knees and carefully straddled Danny’s hips. Reaching for the slick, he managed to somehow empty the contents of the bottle in his palm and with one wet, gloopy stroke slicked Danny’s length. He reached back and brushed slick wet fingers into himself, quickly opening himself enough to take Danny’s girth.

“Ready?” Steve asked, gasping as his fingers unintentionally brushed against his prostate.

He wrapped his fingers around Danny’s cock, unconsciously sliding his hand, waiting for Danny to nod before shuffling closer and easing himself onto Danny's cock. The stretch and burn as the head pushed slowly into him took Steve’s breath away. It had been a very long time since he had done this but he couldn't remember it ever feeling like this. This was where he belonged. This was coming home.

Slowly lowering himself, eyes squeezed tightly closed, his breath came in shallow puffs until his ass was cradled against Danny’s pelvis, the muscles in his thighs burning with the need to move. Reaching blindly down, Steve groped for Danny’s hand, sighing in relief when he felt it being pressed into his. Lifting it to his lips he kissed it wetly, his mouth open, his tongue tracing Danny’s palm, his body starting to tremble in its need to move. 

Opening his eyes, he looked into Danny’s face, their eyes meeting as he lowered Danny’s hand to wrap his wet palm around Steve’s heavy leaking cock. At an almost imperceptible nod from Danny, Steve lifted himself until Danny was barely inside him and then slammed quickly down again, as Danny slowly stroked Steve’s cock.

Both were too aroused to last long, each thrust becoming more erratic, more frantic, desperately climbing towards the pleasure they had been denying themselves for weeks. Gasps turned to pleas, pleas turned to barely voiced moans, until they were chanting each other's names, sweat slick bodies slamming into each other, muscles taut as they raced towards orgasm.

With a long shuddering thrust, Danny’s back arched, nearly toppling Steve off of him as he let go of the tiny bit of control he had retained and came. Steve wasn’t far behind him, Danny’s hand tightening around his cock as he climaxed, wringing Steve’s orgasm from him with a stunned gasp. Tiny pinlights danced behind his eyelids as his semen splattered across Danny’s chest. Steve fell forward, his head landing beside Danny’s on the pillow, their chests slipping messily together as they tried to fill their lungs with heaving breaths.

“Steve? Steven?” Danny’s voice sounded breathless .

“Mmmm?” Steve answered, desperately aware of the feeling of Danny’s softening cock slipping from his ass.

“You with me again?” Danny’s voice was close to his ear as he spoke.

“Yeah, think so.” He turned his head until he was nuzzling Danny’s nape.

“Thought I’d lost you. Want to get off me, Gigantor, before you crush me?”

“Sorry, D.” Steve winced as he moved to lay on his side beside Danny. “Was good yeah?” he asked as he watched Danny grab the discarded towel and wipe away the sticky mess from his chest, then drop it and the spent condom on the floor for later disposal.

“If that’s good, I’d hate to see fantasic.” Danny smiled softly as he sank back onto the bed beside Steve, his face softening as he looked at his partner-turned-lover. “We good?”

Steve considered the question for a long moment before he reached for Danny’s hand and kissed his knuckles before tugging him closer. 

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Yeah we’re better than good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Stellarmeadow for the super fast beta, nudging and handholding.


End file.
